How long will you prevent yourself from flying free because you fear stepping off the ledge? Maybe you’ve leaped without a net before, and the fail and the fall were more than you thought you could handle.
How long will you stand at the edge of the high dive, looking into the water below? Will you jump, or will you turn around and walk down rung, by rung, even though there’s a line with a person on every step?
How much hurt will you endure, before you stand up for yourself? How much unnecessary pain, humiliation and discomfort will you endure because you cannot seem to speak up for yourself, or standup for yourself? …yet knowing that beyond the fear and awkwardness, lies the reward of personal freedom.
How long will you wait to be saved, until you save yourself?
How long will fear prevent you from doing the things you need to do, & the things you want to do?
how long will you choose to go without, rather than face awkwardness and embarrassment?
How long will you silence your voice, when you’re screaming inside with poignant words dying to be said?
How long will you hold back, and not dance full out because if you’re afraid that if you really try, and really go for it, you won’t be good enough?
How long will you do things half-assed, because you need the excuse that you didn’t really try? Is it too hard to bear the possibility of giving it your all only to find it didn’t work out? Is it worth never knowing whether or not it could have worked out the way you dreamed, or even better?
When will you finally live true to yourself, not just once in a while, or sometimes, but consistently?
How much success do you need until you’ll finally feel like a success? How many times will you negate your past successes and keep yourself entangled in the self-inflicted torture of being less than your capable of?
When will you stop putting yourself down, and finally start consistently loving yourself?
Don’t say “Later” because “later” may never come. Years and decades can pass by quickly, and this deep internal shift doesn’t just magically happen “overtime.” It takes conscious decisions, and conscious action. …and it doesn’t happen on one big grandiose day, when poof you never have to “learn” it again.
The only way to wake-up from the nightmare of self-defeat and end the pattern of self-sabotage is to make the commitment to be the best you can be. Make the promise to yourself every morning when you awake, and evening before you sleep. Make the commitment consistently, daily, until it becomes reality, and then… continue, so that you never return to living a life that’s less than what you were born to live.
It doesn’t matter if you stumble along the way. It doesn’t matter if you “mess up” on your commitment, just re-commit. Get back up and push past the defeating behavior and impulses.
“Fall down nine times, get up ten.”
― Japanese Proverb
1. Encourage – Encourage yourself, and celebrate your successes no matter how big or how tiny they may seem.
2. Affirm – Do not beat yourself up when you fall backwards, no matter how tempting it is. Self-berating is an addictive form of sabotage that can feel like you’re pushing yourself toward success by using pain and pressure for motivation. It won’t help because the issue is the healing of your mind. Affirm your postive progress.
3. Plan – Write down your action plan. Celebrate every positive step and every positive success. You can track the “failures” or misses, but only if you write down how you’ll handle it differently next time, and don’t use it to beat yourself up.
4. Patience - Remember it’s harder to unlearn a habit than it is to create one from scratch. Be patient with your process. Chart your progress, and keep going!
5. Courage – When you’ve denied yourself for too long, it can be terrifying to tell the world (by your actions) that you are good enough. It can feel so vulnerable, and it can feel like your stretching out of your own skin. It may even feel like self betrayal, since you’re about to become something different than the “self” you’ve identified with for so long. Your body may shake, nausea may arise, you may stumble and tumble before you even go for it. Be courageous, keep getting back up and stepping a bit further toward the goal. Courage often doesn’t feel good while we’re using it, only afterwards when we’re looking back at the wild crazy steps we took
Brian Tracy said, “Most people achieved their greatest success one step beyond what looked like their greatest failure.” The important thing is that you keep going.
It doesn’t matter how long it takes, how often you find you took two steps backwards. This is your life and your life experience. It is worth the journey even if the journey starts as painful, tedious, and frustrating…. Know it will become easier over time.
You are worth it!