How to Enjoy Valentine’s Day without a Valentine

by Aileen

valentines-day-without-valentineOf all the Valentine’s Days I’ve had while on the earth, I’ve had an actual “valentine” on maybe seven of them. That means there’s been over twenty five without a valentine. Yes, I know the first twelve shouldn’t really count, since chocolate and candy hearts were enough in those childhood years, but the point is, I know about being bummed out on Valentine’s Day. (Not that being single means being bummed out on Valentines day; single can be quite fulfilling).

I had an anti-valentine’s thing going on for a while and I thought that was the best way to handle Valentine’s Day without a valentine. It was fun for a few years, but then I got a bit more creative and dug a little deeper into finding a way not to dislike Valentine’s Day, and not to be all “anti” about it either. I thought if I ever want to have a fabulous Valentine, then I’m going to have to start embracing Valentine’s Day.  If you know a bit about Law of Attraction, you’ll know why I came to that conclusion.

So I’ve got some ideas, from my own experience, to share with you. In hopes that whether you have a romantic valentine, a best friend valentine, or just you with a glass of wine, it can be a great Valentine’s Day.

5 Steps to Enjoy Valentine’s Day without a Valentine

1)  Acknowledge - Valentines’ Day. It’s hard to pretend it’s not happening when you see flowers in the office and people excited about their evening plans, and all the red and hearts everywhere. So don’t try to deny it, acknowledge it.

2)  Fun – Have some fun with it. Yes, even if you’re feeling lonely and bummed out, choose to have some fun with Valentine’s Day. Why? Because it will help not make it so heavy inside and it will keep you aligned with the love you desire. It will make the day a heck of a lot better too. Maybe you’ll have fun my dressing in Valentine’s Day attire rather than all black, maybe you’ll have fun by handing out chocolates or valentine cards.  Or write a love letter to your future valentine. The key is to play with it, embrace it, and have fun with it.  Don’t deny it, make fun of it, and squash it.

3)  Plan – Make a plan. Maybe you have some friends who aren’t with their valentine and you can enjoy a dinner out or at home. Maybe you’ll treat yourself to a fancy dinner for one. I know it can feel scary, awkward, and all that but it can also feel empowering, bold, self-loving and amazing. If you’ve never had dinner for one before, having a book to read or journal to write in helps it not feel awkward.  Maybe you want an evening in with your favorite movie, candles, chocolate, and wine. One year I had pizza with champagne and chocolates and loved it!

Maybe you’ll stay in and practice self-love, create a vision board, or write about your ideal relationship.

4)  Do - Take time and do the things you love or enjoy. Maybe it’s going to the spa and getting a fabulous massage, or taking a yoga class, or a dance class. Do something you enjoy! If you enjoy baking cookies, maybe someone can join you. It may not be your valentine, but it may be an awesome time with another person maybe even a family member.

5)  Indulge - indulge in lovely scented lotions, scented candles, and a bubble bath.  Wear your softest lounging clothes and feel like a King or Queen.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it was after I stopped my anti-valentine’s way of handling Valentine’s Day that I met the love of my life.  There’s something that happens when we tell the Universe (in our actions, thoughts and words) “Yes I’m open and receptive.” “Yes, I want this.”
” Yes, I accept this desire as reality.’

If we waver, part of our being saying:  “I don’t care”     “It’ll never happen I’m too old”     “Whatever no big deal.”   While another part of being is saying “I’d really like that to be my reality.”  Then we’re not sending a clear message of our desire to the Universe, and we’re not committing to put ourselves out there with a commitment to being open and receptive to it happening.

I’ve experienced what happens when we waver. We stay stuck.

It takes inner strength and self-love to say “I really want this and I’m going to remain open and receptive to it.” And then to follow through in our words in actions, keeping our eyes on the vision we hold, even when reality looks so far off from that vision.

Sometimes we have to choose to shift our focus away from what things look like, and see what it can be. Affirmations help, gratitude helps. Continue to take the steps needed toward the life of your dreams.

Life is full of miracles, but sometimes we accidentally crush them before they blossom.

With or without a Valentine
With or without a fabulous Valentine (maybe you’re not liking the Valentine you have)

It’s another day to celebrate all the love in your heart.
Celebrate the things you like and love about yourself.
Celebrate the things you love in life.
Celebrate the people you love.

Have fun with it. Be your own Valentine.

And be good to yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Evelyn Lim February 13, 2012

I love the idea of still being able to celebrate even if one is single. Instead of moping around, there are things that we can do to make ourselves feel happy. I like the idea of reading a book and putting on some music. My mantra is: It is okay to be alone but one does not have to feel lonely.
Evelyn Lim´s last [type] ..10 Free Love Coupons For Your Download

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Aileen February 14, 2012

” It is okay to be alone but one does not have to feel lonely.” Love that Evelyn! So very, very true alone and lonely do not need to be interwoven. I do enjoy my alone time and being able to connect with self and spirit. It’s recharges me and aligns me. You are so very, very right – love your mantra!

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Leah McClellan February 13, 2012

I love these tips Aileen,

I’m not much for Valentine’s day, even when I’ve had a Valentine which I guess is plenty of times (I’d have to really think about it to count): big cards, the flowers, the dinner and all that. The guys I’ve known have tried so hard and got me such lovely stuff but it’s just really not my thing.

That said, I’m still doing some nice things for myself even without a Valentine guy and going to a fun event by myself. Who knows? Maybe I’ll meet someone; even just new friends are fun. I totally agree that whatever message we’re sending out determines what we attract–or not. I haven’t been interested in awhile since I was divorced (still not–too busy), but I know whenever I’m ready and willing *poof* someone will appear when I least expect it :)
Leah McClellan´s last [type] ..Raise your expectations, let go of the outcome

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Aileen February 14, 2012

It can be great fun going to event by oneself and allowing life to happen and chance meetings. I wish I hadn’t been so afraid to do that earlier in life. Far too many times I would have stayed home feeling bad that I didn’t take the adventure. Eventually I dared myself to go to movies alone, then go out to eat alone – and it not only did it get easier – it became fun.

“To thine own self be true” Life is big and wonderful.
There really is so much to enjoy :) Hope you have a fabulous time at the event :)

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Cathy | Treatment Talk February 13, 2012

Hi Aileen,

Great post on loving yourself. When we shift our thinking and are creative, Valentine’s Day can be fun, even if you are single. Going to a movie or just ordering in and treating yourself, as you suggested sound good. We have all been there at some point in our life and the day can be fun if we think positive.
Cathy | Treatment Talk´s last [type] ..Saying Goodbye to Etta James and Now Whitney Houston

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Aileen February 14, 2012

“shift our thinking and (be) creative,” :) that really is one of the great keys to life isn’t it :)

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Joy February 14, 2012

Beautiful. Wonderful. Awesome. Perfect:)
Every day can be Valentine’s Day….and every day does not “have to be” Valentine’s Day. We can choose to open to love in this moment, as we are…or we can choose not to. I choose love:) And I *love* all of the insights and tips that you share in this article…thank you.
My PS. I woke up this morning and my web hosting company’s servers were down, temporarily eliminating my “work to-do list”. Bummer. So, I decided to bake cupcakes while my children were sleeping (I wake early *grin*) and journal and channel peace..a very “unplanned” yet fulfilling beginning to a day full of love. I allowed the seed to blossom where it was planted, and then to enjoy the blossom rather than insisting upon my way. To say my children were ecstatic to wake to cupcakes and quality time before school would be an understatement! So, this quote speaks loudly to me: “Life is full of miracles, but sometimes we accidentally crush them before they blossom”.

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Brad February 14, 2012

I love that quote Joy, do you know who wrote it?
Brad´s last [type] ..Self Love or Self Obsession?

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Aileen February 14, 2012

:) Thanks Brad that’ “quote” is from me :) you just made me smile like crazy. Thank you :)

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Aileen February 14, 2012

Joy, you rock! ” I woke up this morning and my web hosting company’s servers were down, temporarily eliminating my “work to-do list”. Bummer. So, I decided to bake cupcakes while my children were sleeping” You are one of those people who live miracles regularly and bring them to others as gifts.

You inspire me!

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Brad February 14, 2012

Hi Aileen,

I appreciate your reminders and can tell that you walk the talk. I’ve been enjoying my beloved inside bubbling forth in play & dance the last fews days in celebration of life, love and Valentine’s.

Singles Unite or Celebrate Self!
Muse Brad
Brad´s last [type] ..Self Love or Self Obsession?

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Aileen February 14, 2012

Glad to hear your fully celebrating!
It’s amazing what happens when take the time to really celebrate :)

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Louise February 14, 2012

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO ALL…..

Enjoyed your post.

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Galen Pearl February 16, 2012

I’ve been my own Valentine for some years now, and I’m quite content with that. Valentine’s Day has not been a very good day for me. My dad died on that day 30 years ago. My most significant relationships ended on or near that day. So your anti-Valentine thing is something I can relate to. Ha! But now I just let it float by. This year, my daughter left me candy and the sweetest card about how much she loves me and appreciates me. That is the best Valentine I could ever get!
Galen Pearl´s last [type] ..Be Glad In It

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Betsy at Zen Mama February 17, 2012

Beautiful post Aileen and great for every day, not just Valentine’s Day!
Betsy at Zen Mama´s last [type] ..For Valentine’s Day Give Random Acts Of Kindness

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