Of all the Valentine’s Days I’ve had while on the earth, I’ve had an actual “valentine” on maybe seven of them. That means there’s been over twenty five without a valentine. Yes, I know the first twelve shouldn’t really count, since chocolate and candy hearts were enough in those childhood years, but the point is, I know about being bummed out on Valentine’s Day. (Not that being single means being bummed out on Valentines day; single can be quite fulfilling).
I had an anti-valentine’s thing going on for a while and I thought that was the best way to handle Valentine’s Day without a valentine. It was fun for a few years, but then I got a bit more creative and dug a little deeper into finding a way not to dislike Valentine’s Day, and not to be all “anti” about it either. I thought if I ever want to have a fabulous Valentine, then I’m going to have to start embracing Valentine’s Day. If you know a bit about Law of Attraction, you’ll know why I came to that conclusion.
So I’ve got some ideas, from my own experience, to share with you. In hopes that whether you have a romantic valentine, a best friend valentine, or just you with a glass of wine, it can be a great Valentine’s Day.
5 Steps to Enjoy Valentine’s Day without a Valentine
1) Acknowledge - Valentines’ Day. It’s hard to pretend it’s not happening when you see flowers in the office and people excited about their evening plans, and all the red and hearts everywhere. So don’t try to deny it, acknowledge it.
2) Fun – Have some fun with it. Yes, even if you’re feeling lonely and bummed out, choose to have some fun with Valentine’s Day. Why? Because it will help not make it so heavy inside and it will keep you aligned with the love you desire. It will make the day a heck of a lot better too. Maybe you’ll have fun my dressing in Valentine’s Day attire rather than all black, maybe you’ll have fun by handing out chocolates or valentine cards. Or write a love letter to your future valentine. The key is to play with it, embrace it, and have fun with it. Don’t deny it, make fun of it, and squash it.
3) Plan – Make a plan. Maybe you have some friends who aren’t with their valentine and you can enjoy a dinner out or at home. Maybe you’ll treat yourself to a fancy dinner for one. I know it can feel scary, awkward, and all that but it can also feel empowering, bold, self-loving and amazing. If you’ve never had dinner for one before, having a book to read or journal to write in helps it not feel awkward. Maybe you want an evening in with your favorite movie, candles, chocolate, and wine. One year I had pizza with champagne and chocolates and loved it!
Maybe you’ll stay in and practice self-love, create a vision board, or write about your ideal relationship.
4) Do - Take time and do the things you love or enjoy. Maybe it’s going to the spa and getting a fabulous massage, or taking a yoga class, or a dance class. Do something you enjoy! If you enjoy baking cookies, maybe someone can join you. It may not be your valentine, but it may be an awesome time with another person maybe even a family member.
5) Indulge - indulge in lovely scented lotions, scented candles, and a bubble bath. Wear your softest lounging clothes and feel like a King or Queen.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it was after I stopped my anti-valentine’s way of handling Valentine’s Day that I met the love of my life. There’s something that happens when we tell the Universe (in our actions, thoughts and words) “Yes I’m open and receptive.” “Yes, I want this.”
” Yes, I accept this desire as reality.’
If we waver, part of our being saying: “I don’t care” “It’ll never happen I’m too old” “Whatever no big deal.” While another part of being is saying “I’d really like that to be my reality.” Then we’re not sending a clear message of our desire to the Universe, and we’re not committing to put ourselves out there with a commitment to being open and receptive to it happening.
I’ve experienced what happens when we waver. We stay stuck.
It takes inner strength and self-love to say “I really want this and I’m going to remain open and receptive to it.” And then to follow through in our words in actions, keeping our eyes on the vision we hold, even when reality looks so far off from that vision.
Sometimes we have to choose to shift our focus away from what things look like, and see what it can be. Affirmations help, gratitude helps. Continue to take the steps needed toward the life of your dreams.
Life is full of miracles, but sometimes we accidentally crush them before they blossom.
With or without a Valentine
With or without a fabulous Valentine (maybe you’re not liking the Valentine you have)
It’s another day to celebrate all the love in your heart.
Celebrate the things you like and love about yourself.
Celebrate the things you love in life.
Celebrate the people you love.
Have fun with it. Be your own Valentine.
And be good to yourself.