Seeking to be Understood? …The Difference Between Love and Understanding

by Aileen

smart opinionated and fabulous podcast logoWelcome back to Episode #3 of the Smart, Opinionated and Fabulous podcast.

In this episode we explore the questions:

  • Why is the desire to be heard and understood so strong?
  • Can we feel loved by those who don’t understand us?
  • Is there a way to bridge the gap when there’s a lack of understanding in relationships?
  • What happens when our need to be heard and understood goes awry?

We share perspectives that open the heart and mind, for those occasions when others are seeking your understanding, and when you find yourself seeking to be understood.

Show Notes:

1. How and why the lack of understanding can feel like a lack of love, and how you can change this.

2. How the goal of being understood can break apart relationships you care about the most.

3. Examining why the ones you love may not understand you even when they care about you, love you and even try to understand you.

4. Examining your expectations of people, and how your expectations affect your experience in the relationship.

5. The bonding nature of mutual understanding. How understanding makes it easier to connect.

6. Explore points of view by using the perspective of love to create a bridge in the absence of understanding.

7. Empowering choices you can make to relieve the frustration and not feel trapped in your feelings of hurt and disappointment.

8. What can be solved, what can be worked on, and when it’s best to let go.

As I write the show notes, I  think of the beautiful Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi, which is one of my Mom’s most favorite prayers. It reminds us to think and see through the eyes of love.

“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.…grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love…”


We’d love to hear your fabulous thoughts and opinions on difference between Love and Understanding.

And, always, we love to hear from you about any topics you’d like to have discussed on this show. You can share in the comment section below, or email us softalkpodcast[a]gmail[dot]com

If you enjoyed listening, please share this with others. Here’s the link to the SOF  iTunes page.

Related Posts with Thumbnails

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Louise October 5, 2011




Aileen October 5, 2011

I’m sorry for the technical glitch. I will email it to you so you’ll have it. Thank you for being such a wonderful reader & listener!!!


Angela Artemis|Powered by Intuition October 5, 2011

Aileen & Farnoosh,
This was wonderful. I loved the topic and your approaches to it. I could relate to it very well. I have a friend I’ve known since I was 8 years old and she has not been supportive of my blogging or publishing a book. It has hurt me and I feel uncomfortable when we speak. She never asks me about my writing so when we speak there is this tension. Whenever I bring it up she’s terse and changes the subject quickly. I sense she doesn’t want me to change. Frankly, I’m fine with letting her go since we have nothing in common except that we grew up next door to each other but, she keeps calling me. It’s a difficult situation. Maybe she’ll come around. In the meantime she has taken up horse-back riding and I have been extremely supportive. We shall see. Thank you for sharing your conversation with us.
Angela Artemis|Powered by Intuition´s last [type] ..How Does Vedic Astrology Differ From Western Astrology?


Aileen October 10, 2011

As we all grow, evolve and change we do grow apart from people sometimes and it’s never an easy thing to deal with. Sometimes it goes beyond just not understanding, and it goes into complete non-supportive attitude & behavior. Maybe it’s worth having a heart to heart conversation with her.


Louise October 5, 2011

Episode 3 LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING is the best conversation by far :) Very powerful!
Letting go of friends was put in a beautiful way. We all know how sad it is to have outgrown or drifted apart from a special friend and your talk covered it beautifully. There was so much packed into this episode – love and understanding. Thank you both.


Aileen October 10, 2011

Thank YOU! Thank you for being such a wonderful reader and listener, and thank you for sharing your thoughts and feedback – it’s truly appreciated!!


Vishnu October 6, 2011

Aileen – how could you neither love or understand golf? I see the world leading you to a golf course very soon:)

Expectations can lead to petty hurt and small conflicts with people. But expectation really leads to our main disappointment’s in life. Not only with people but our expectations for circumstances and events cause a lot of pain and suffering, no?


Aileen October 10, 2011

HAhahahaha – perhaps the world is leading me to a golf course soon. There does seem to be some resistance that I’m showing towards golf.
YES, “But expectation really leads to our main disappointment’s in life. Not only with people but our expectations for circumstances and events cause a lot of pain and suffering,” So very true!!!!


J.D. Meier October 7, 2011

> I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love
I hadn’t heart that before, but I like the inner-strength aspect. It reminds me of a saying my friend always used, “I am a rock, I am an island, I need nobody.” He liked to remind us of his self-sufficiency :)
J.D. Meier´s last [type] ..Make Plenty of Miss-Takes


Aileen October 10, 2011

Ahhh, self-sufficiency. :) Interdependence can be a beautiful thing, but if we are not able to be self-sufficient then that opens us up to losing personal empowerment.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this :)


Rasto July 21, 2014

Hello, the audio link is not active. how could I listen to your podcast?


Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Previous post:

Next post: