I’ll never forget how angry I felt when a well-known acting teacher I had for class at NYU said to me, “people tend to walk on you when you tend to lie down” I felt angry, mortified, embarrassed. I begged the department to leave that class and move into another one. This teacher would have me run and get him water or coffee during class, he’d have me doing the lights and tech, and when it was my turn for my scene work, he’d say ‘oh we’re out of time. Sorry Eileen.” (He wouldn’t even pronounce my name correctly). I wanted to cry, felt like I was being such a good student, and yet I wasn’t being treated like the other students. I was too nice, and I lost out on the class work. Eventually I found the courage to stand up to him and say “no, someone else can get your coffee and run the lights. It’s my turn to work on my scene work with you.”
Have you ever wanted to say ‘no’, but said ‘yes’ anyway? Maybe it was out of guilt, or obligation, or just an old habit of being too nice.
While saying ‘no’ is something that comes easily to some, it’s something that others need to practice, and learn to become more assertive. It’s not strange that those who have a habit of saying yes, when they don’t want to, also have a hard time getting “yes” out of others. Not to fear, this is something you can change.
In this episode, we talk how you can say ‘no’ and feel good about it, and how you can get to ‘yes’ on something that you really want.
Click To Play:http://www.ProlificLiving.com/podcasts/sof/SmartOpinionatedFabulous_Episode04.mp3
We look at some of the root causes that compel us to say ‘yes’ all the time? We examine reasons that we give up before getting to yes on something that really matters to us?
We explore these topics in a fun and empowering manner. We share our own stories, and give you plenty of strategies to tackle each one in your life.
It’s Episode #4 of the Smart, Opinionated and Fabulous podcast, Show Notes:
1. How you should learn to set expectations, even with your own family and friends, so that you develop new habits and stay true to yourself.
2. Simple, effective and practical tips that you can put to use right now on how to say no professionally.
3. How to manage that ultimate feeling of guilt when you feel like saying no.
4. The one reason we end up saying yes all the time to our family and friends and even to our bosses, and how to stop it. Why it’s a mistake to say yes all the time in your career.
5. Learning to put boundaries on other people’s expectations, special tips on how to talk to the boss, and the main reason you should not fear getting fired.
6. Our secrets on getting to yes when you get no response or a “maybe” from the person that you are asking for.
7. Resources that we mentioned as an extension to this conversation:
- The power of positive confrontation (book) by Barbara Patcher
- Civilized assertiveness for women (book) by Judith McClure
- Handling verbal confrontation (book) by Robert Jerard
- Getting to Yes (book) by Roger Fischer & William Ury
We’d love to hear your opinions and thoughts about the show
Let us know what topics you want to hear about in upcoming episodes. Please leave a comment or email us at softalkpodcast[a]gmail[dot]com, and share the word on the podcast if you enjoyed listening!
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