Parents typically do their best to guide their children; I know my parents did their best with me, their stubborn and rebellious child. I had to live life experientially since I wasn’t going to listen to someone’s sage advice or wisdom.
For a moment, I’d like to entertain the thought that I would have been open to advice as I talk to the younger versions of myself, once as a child, again as a teenager and then as a 20-something. This is what I would say as I pass these life lessons on.
Hi Jelly Bean, I am you. I am the adult that you will become. Listen, I have some things to tell you. This is very important. It could actually change your life. Here are the things you need to know:
1. Speak up – You must do this. The more you do it, the easier it will become and the more you avoid it, the harder it will be later on. You know how awful it feels when you want to speak up but you don’t, well unfortunately that won’t change. When you silence your voice, you’ll always regret it. I know you struggle with speaking up, but there really is no “how.” Just open your mouth and let it out. I promise it will get easier. Speak up; you have a voice, honor it.
2. Be assertive – Sometimes when you feel alienated, it’s you who are alienating them. Invite others in, initiate.
3. Be okay with awkward – It’s part of who you are and it gets easier with a sense of humor.
4. Be Confident – This is one of the few times I will say, “Fake it until you make it.” If you keep telling yourself that you are confident, then you’ll make it your reality. So just, fake it for now to program your mind for confidence.
5. Shine – Live to your potential. We are all meant to be a light in this world, shining empowerment on ourselves and each other. You have a place in this world, be bold, own it.
6. Love – Find a way to love yourself no matter what and guard that love so that nothing and no one will destroy it. It will allow you to be your happiest and best self. Only after you love yourself are you free to really love another.
7. Say “No” – Learn when to say “no” when you’re not comfortable saying yes.
Hey Rocker Girl, I’m back to talk to you about life again. I know you have a tendency for angst and rebellion but you will be happier when you embrace a lightness of being. It sounds ridiculous, impossible and stupid, I know…I know… I am you, I’ve been there, but listen… really listen:
1. Avoid Jealousy – Jealously limits your ability to appreciate others and it gets in the way of you being your fullest self. When jealousy rises just know it’s a perception that you can change. Learn to admire others while knowing that there is enough in the world for you as well. Someone’s ‘having’ doesn’t mean you can’t have it too. You might already have it, but you can’t see it because you’re blinded by envy.
2. Pain is a vortex – Don’t stay too long or it will suck you in so deeply that you can’t find your way out. Feel the pain, process it, grieve then let it go and move forward. It’s a choice and if you move forward, you will have a happier state of mind.
3. Watch you thoughts – Watch them carefully, they can be poisonous or medicinal. It’s your choice, so choose wisely. You can always choose a constructive thought rather than a destructive one.
4. Habits – Yes, you really can change your habits. It works best in small steps. There is no habit that you cannot change. You are powerful.
5. Be Compassionate – The world softens when you soften. It’s not really you against the world, but it will feel like that, as long as you perceive it that way. Soften… Love yourself… Breathe…
6. Embrace life – Do not approach life with fear, hurt or frustration.
7. Be flexible – When we cling too tightly to our dreams, we stop the flow. Be open to not knowing what it will look like. If you remain flexible, then some form of it will happen. Allow your dreams to breathe and they will form in the way they are meant to be.
Hey Dancer Girl, it’s me again your older self. I know you are relentlessly pursuing your dreams right now, so I won’t take up too much time. I’d just like to say a few things to make the next 10 years a bit easier and nicer for you. I know you’re off to your next audition, so real quick listen up:
1. Great men really do exist – It’s not a myth, be patient.
2. You’re an acquired taste – It’s okay if people don’t like you and it’s okay if they decide to like you later.
3. Life is a bit of a lottery – Cultivate optimism and learn to be resourceful so you can make the most of what you’ve got. This will also give you the vision to recognize a win when it happens.
4. Learn to let go – The sooner you do this the sooner you’ll be free.
5. Listen to your emotions – They are very informative. The law of attraction isn’t fool proof but it’s fundamental principal is true. There’s a connection between perception and success.
6. Meditate, pray and connect with the Divine – Do this daily! When you don’t spend time with the Divine, with God, with Spirit, you will feel frazzled and stressed. Connecting keeps doubt and fear at bay. Life can be wild and chaotic so have stillness within.
7. There aren’t always happy endings – Hurt, death and other dreadful things happen. Sometimes dreams don’t come true and moments feel like hell but we can choose to land on our feet, be resourceful, make the best of it and enjoy this life experience. Don’t let life’s heartbreaks ruin a chance for a happy and fulfilling life.
This post was inspired by the Life Lesson Series created by Abubakar Jamil. More information can be found on www.abubakarjamil.com
What are a few of your life lessons that you would tell your younger self?