Which Is It?

by Aileen

thinking woman

“If it’s gonna be, it’s up to me.”
“If it’s meant to be, it will be.”

Which one is true?

At this point in my journey, I believe that it’s actually a combination of the two. It’s the balance of making “it” happen and allowing “it” to happen. Cultivating the ability to take action and put in the work, while simultaneously releasing attachment to “it” happening.

Many years ago I lived by this mantra: “never give up, never quit trying.” That belief system, which was so ingrained in me, made it really hard to walk away from something even though I no longer wanted it in my life.

Have you held on to something you wanted for so long that when you sincerely didn’t want it anymore, you couldn’t let go?

Sometimes after years of trying, we may identify ourselves with it so strongly we can’t let it go. An Actor friend of mine is going through this right now. All through High School and College, he perfected his craft. He has spent the last ten years working the Hollywood circuit of auditions, agents, casting directors, etc… He’s had some successes here and there, but he’s still trying to make it happen. For the last couple of years he’s been feeling stuck. He’s battling himself. I hear him say, “I’m not happy fighting for it anymore, but it’s my passion. I’ve spent my life working for this.” The truth is, it really isn’t his passion anymore but he can’t acknowledge that because it’s become his identity. It’s no longer his passion. Today he says, “Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.”

We can fool ourselves, we can pretend, we can lie to ourselves… so how do we know when we don’t want “it” anymore? Well, it takes serious self-honesty to determine if we still feel a sincere desire.

If you still feel that burning desire, that “YES!” feeling, then go for it. Keep putting in the action. GO! GO!

We fertilize the ground, plant the seeds of our desires/dreams, water it regularly, allow the sun to shine on the seeds and allow those seeds to grow. This is making it happen & allowing it to happen. This embodies “If it’s gonna be, it’s up to me” and “if it’s meant to be it will be.”

Life won’t just make things happen for us without us taking action. We must put in the work.

If we take all the action in the world, sometimes it’s just not going to turn out the way we intended, but it does turn out the way it does… so, embrace what is and grow from there.

It takes bold courage, consistent effort, and the softness of allowing and letting go to live this way, but it’s worth it!

So… which is it?

For me, it’s both. Take action, release attachment to the result, and let it be what it will be.

What is true for you?

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Jean Sarauer April 28, 2010

My philosophy is a combination of both of the above. I feel that if it’s meant to happen it will but that I play in a role in making things happen through taking action. I’m usually not attached to outcomes though because I’ve found that when I lay down my original plans, the end result is often something much better than anything I would have dreamed up.
.-= Jean Sarauer´s last blog ..7 Steps to Banish the Blogging Blues =-.


Aileen April 28, 2010

Hi Jean,
Love what you said, “when I lay down my original plans, the end result is often some thing much better than any thing I would have dreamed up” so, so very true!
Thank you for your comment!


LOUISE April 28, 2010

I fully agree – take action (I usually have plan A and B, sometimes even a plan C)and when it comes to fruition I know that is how it was “to be” but if everything falls through and it dissolves then I know it was NOT “to be” and I can put it aside and go on. I believe this promotes happiness and joy.


Aileen April 28, 2010

Thank you for your comment! Yes, I agree, it does promote happiness :)


Angela Artemis April 28, 2010

I think you’re absolutely right – it’s a combination of both. I can definitely see myself in your example about your actor friend. I spent 20+ years building a career in finance and then when I started losing my passion I had a hard time letting go because it had become my identity. Thank you for this great post!
.-= Angela Artemis´s last blog ..Earth Day or Urgent Day? =-.


Aileen April 29, 2010

Thank you for your comment Angela! Passion can carve out an interesting journey when we allow it. I see it lead you to create Mystic Musings – a fantastic place on the internet!!


Emily April 29, 2010

I like what you said “It takes bold courage, consistent effort, and the softness of allowing & letting go to live this way.” You cannot step into a building without opening the door. I believe courage is everything. So many of us dream and so few step up to open that door to where the dream can happen. I believe it takes courage, strength, and persistence..and there is always that letting go to see where life wants to take it. :) Best of luck on your personal journey.


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