(Part four of the Leg­endary John Wooden Series)

One of the many things I love about the wis­dom of Coach Wooden is how his build­ing blocks apply to both team suc­cess as well as indi­vid­ual success.

As I lis­ten to con­ver­sa­tions around me, one thing I often hear is how dif­fi­cult it is to pur­sue per­sonal dreams as an adult. With all the respon­si­bil­i­ties and com­plex­i­ties of life, work and fam­ily, how can we fit it all in?

If you really think about it, turn­ing dreams into real­ity is chal­leng­ing at any age, and yet some­how we hear and read every­day about those who have strug­gled, per­se­vered and accom­plished the very same goals we dream about. Amaz­ingly some have even achieved despite phys­i­cal, men­tal, or heart-wrenching difficulties.

Those who have over come great odds inspire us to learn and recover from our own inevitable detours, set­backs and fail­ures along our way.

By acti­vat­ing self-control over our emo­tions and actions we find our­selves mov­ing beyond our chal­lenges into the land of the seem­ingly impossible.

Self Con­trol

“Dis­ci­pline your­self and oth­ers won’t need to.” ~ John Wooden

I have a bit of a love/hate rela­tion­ship with self-control and dis­ci­pline. When I’m on top of my game and oper­at­ing at high level of dis­ci­pline, I feel great about it! I feel empow­ered and unstop­pable. Then there are the times when I want to be free and spon­ta­neous as I rebel against the restric­tions I placed on myself. So over the years, I even­tu­ally found a bal­ance between the two by keep­ing a sim­ple yet real­is­tic schedule.

With a real­is­tic func­tional sched­ule, it’s eas­ier to focus on each task and it pro­vides the struc­ture to com­mit to the time allo­cated. I’m wildly excited about the Tick Tock Timer, that I learned from Jean of Vir­gin Blog­ger Notes. I set the timer a few min­utes ahead of end­ing time  so I can have a moment to fin­ish the task. One of the things I like about  it is it gives a lovely gong sound instead of the usual beep­ing alarm.

“Get­ting to the top, even once, is ardu­ous. Stay­ing there is even more difficult…getting there and stay­ing there requires great self-control.” ~ John Wooden

Self-control is that choice we make after our high fades and our com­mit­ment is chal­lenged. It shapes our char­ac­ter when we con­tinue on even though we’d rather do some­thing eas­ier or more enjoy­able. We expe­ri­ence self con­trol when we choose to work through our resis­tance with  part of our self want­ing it more than the part that want’s to give up.

Alert­ness

“How can you per­form at your best when you are using poor judg­ment?” ~ John Wooden

In sports and in life, the more alert we are, the more we can be on top of our game and move swiftly in the best direc­tion. As Coach Wooden would say, we should “be quick but not hurry”

“we can learn by being obser­vant see­ing all the things around us” ~ John Wooden

Coach Wooden talks about alert­ness as one of the build­ing blocks to suc­cess and alert­ness can be the very thing that tells us when we need to adjust,  change direc­tion, or pick up speed. It sharp­ens our vision, allow­ing us to see the nuances and keeps us agile in life.

We are in a time of great change. It can be excit­ing or scary depend­ing on how we want to per­ceive it. We have the choice to close our eyes and ignore it for a while, or see it and make adjustments.

By being alert to the chang­ing times, we have a great chance at liv­ing the life we want to be liv­ing. We just need to cul­ti­vate aware­ness so we can make the most informed deci­sions. Some­times we have life blind­ers on. This hap­pens when we’ve been doing things the same way for so long with­out look­ing around at the world within us and around us. We have the oppor­tu­nity every day to pay a lit­tle bit more atten­tion to what’s hap­pen­ing with our per­spec­tive, our hearts and our minds. Our world is shift­ing, are you shift­ing or are you unaware and stand­ing still?

Ini­tia­tive

With a solid sense of self-control and a sharp alert­ness, we will know when to jump in and with­out hes­i­ta­tion, take action. This can be applied to all aspects of life. There are always oppor­tu­ni­ties to take the ini­tia­tive and help some­one out or move a project fur­ther along.

“The great­est fail­ure is not to act when action is needed” ~ John Wooden

Ini­tia­tive is some­thing that didn’t come nat­u­rally for me. In my early years, I had been incred­i­bly shy and fear­ful of mak­ing mis­takes. For­tu­nately, it’s the mis­takes we make that allow us to learn and grow.

“If you’re not mak­ing mis­takes, then you’re not doing any­thing. I’m pos­i­tive that a doer makes mis­takes.” ~ John Wooden

Often times what appears to be mis­takes or fail­ures are just part of the process. In life we wont always have a coach telling us to go in, so if we sit on the side lines and wait for the per­fect moment we just might miss the entire game.

“If you don’t like what you’re doing there’s no way you can come close to your own par­tic­u­lar level of com­pe­tency”
– John Wooden

Enthu­si­asm

I love enthu­si­asm! I wrote a bit about it on What Would Love Do? Enthu­si­asm fuels me and sends me places I’d never reach with nor­mal lev­els of energy and expec­ta­tions. It’s the very thing that blinds us to obsta­cles and hurls us over them. It lets us run beyond our own lim­its with­out us feel­ing the pain of our feet pound­ing the pave­ment, and our invis­i­ble wings come out from nowhere and lift us higher.

Enthu­si­asm is one of the two cor­ner stones of Coach Wooden’s Pyra­mid of Suc­cess. It’s an inte­gral part of the foun­da­tion to suc­cess. “With­out enthu­si­asm, you can­not work up to your fullest abil­ity and poten­tial; you’re just going through the motions. And just going through the motions won’t bring you to the level of com­pet­i­tive great­ness we seek, whether in bas­ket­ball, busi­ness or life.”

But there are times when enthu­si­asm wears thin and fatigue sets in just enough to have us feel how hard it really is. At this moment, we need our indus­tri­ous­ness to kick in.

Indus­tri­ous­ness

“There is no sub­sti­tute for work. Worth­while things come from hard work and care­ful plan­ning,” – John Wooden

Ahh, I can phys­i­cally feel it in my body, I know why Coach Wooden has indus­tri­ous­ness as the other cor­ner stone to his pyra­mid.

Indus­tri­ous­ness is achiev­ing per­sonal great­ness through prac­tice and hard work. I hear a lot about hard work being the old way of doing things. Nowa­days, it’s all about work­ing smart not hard and it’s implied that only the dumb believe in hard work. I did try to emu­late the work smart not hard for a while before I real­ized that some­times work­ing smart includes some seri­ous hard work.

There is a beauty to the moments when we push our­selves beyond our com­fort lim­its and we call upon our dis­ci­pline to get us through when every fiber in our being wants to quit. The def­i­n­i­tion of hard work is dif­fer­ent for every­one, but we all know it and we’ve all felt it.

Do what it takes to acti­vate your own indus­tri­ous­ness. The funny thing is, no one will see it but you. They will only see the result of your per­sis­tent efforts, which just might appear to be effortless.

Enthu­si­asm keep us light on our feet and ener­gized. Indus­tri­ous­ness keeps our mind clear and gives us a laser focus. When we com­bine enthu­si­asm and indus­tri­ous­ness, we get a win­ing com­bi­na­tion and we become unstoppable.

“Suc­cess is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in know­ing you did your best to become the best you are capa­ble of becom­ing.” – John Wooden

“We’re never going to develop the strength that lie within unless we accept and work hard to make the things we’d like to come about really become real­ity.” — John Wooden

This is the first post in the “Kaizen Wis­dom from the Leg­endary John Wooden” series.

This series will honor how he lived his life and the wis­dom he shared, which in many ways is aligned with kaizen prin­ci­ples. Small con­tin­u­ous improve­ments for the bet­ter­ment of the whole, in his case it was more than just for the team, it was for the bet­ter­ment of one’s life and one’s community.

For any­one one who doesn’t know who this amaz­ing man was, here’s a brief overview.

John Wooden (Octo­ber 14, 1910 – June 4, 2010)

Coach Wooden was a suc­cess­ful high school and uni­ver­sity bas­ket­ball player prior to becom­ing one of the great­est coaches that ever lived.

When he grad­u­ated from Pur­due he was offered “a lot of money” to play bas­ket­ball, this was before the NBA existed and at that time play­ing bas­ket­ball as a pro­fes­sion wasn’t held in high regard. He talked with his coach about the oppor­tu­nity and what deci­sion he should make. His coach told him, “You can’t play in the dirt and not get dirty. What did you come to Pur­due for?” Wooden had gone to Pur­due to become an Eng­lish teacher and that’s what he went on to do, well, that and becom­ing a phe­nom­e­nal bas­ket­ball coach.

Because there is so much infor­ma­tion avail­able about his suc­cesses in bas­ket­ball, this series will mainly focus on his life lessons. For your enjoy­ment, below are some great resources for addi­tional information:

Resources

http://www.coachwooden.com

http://www.uclabruins.com/wooden

John Wooden

Intent­ness

hav­ing the mind, atten­tion, or will con­cen­trated on some­thing   — merriam-webster

“…the abil­ity to resist temp­ta­tion and stay the course, to con­cen­trate on your objec­tive with deter­mi­na­tion and resolve.”

“Impa­tience is want­ing too much too soon. Intent­ness doesn’t involve want­ing something.”

“Being intent on reach­ing real­is­tic goals… Don’t make your goals so dif­fi­cult that their going to be unat­tain­able. On the other hand don’t make the goals that you wish to attain eas­ily attained because they don’t mean much. Make them dif­fi­cult but within the realm of possibility.”

- John Wooden

Intent­ness is one of John Wooden’s build­ing blocks his Pyra­mid of Success

In liv­ing with a kaizen vision, we embrace small con­tin­u­ous improve­ments. We adjust our goals and processes as we dis­cover ways to improve, become more effec­tive, more effi­cient and grow into the best we can be.

In this process we remain open to analy­sis and revi­sions. At first the goal may appear doable but after we begin, we dis­cover that we need to break it down a bit more. It is okay to travel at the tor­toise speed as long as each step we take is in the direc­tion of our dreams.

What dream or goals do you hold in your heart? How do you want your life to look and feel? Will you choose to deepen your level of intent­ness, stay the course, and all the while main­tain­ing an open mind as you lis­ten to life when she tells you to keep going, let go, or re-route? Will you embrace a sense of patience and joy as you take small steps toward liv­ing the life you imagine?

We can do this. Let’s focus our intent today.

Par­ents typ­i­cally do their best to guide their chil­dren; I know my par­ents did their best with me, their stub­born and rebel­lious child.  I had to live life expe­ri­en­tially since I wasn’t going to lis­ten to someone’s sage advice or wisdom.

For a moment, I’d like to enter­tain the thought that I would have been open to advice as I talk to the younger ver­sions of myself, once as a child, again as a teenager and then as a 20-something. This is what I would say as I pass these life lessons on.

Hi Jelly Bean, I am you. I am the adult that you will become. Lis­ten, I have some things to tell you.  This is very impor­tant. It could actu­ally change your life. Here are the things you need to know:

1. Speak up - You must do this. The more you do it, the eas­ier it will become and the more you avoid it, the harder it will be later on. You know how awful it feels when you want to speak up but you don’t, well unfor­tu­nately that won’t change. When you silence your voice, you’ll always regret it. I know you strug­gle with speak­ing up, but there really is no “how.” Just open your mouth and let it out. I promise it will get eas­ier. Speak up; you have a voice, honor it.

2. Be assertive - Some­times when you feel alien­ated, it’s you who are alien­at­ing them. Invite oth­ers in, initiate.

3. Be okay with awk­ward — It’s part of who you are and it gets eas­ier with a sense of humor.

4. Be Con­fi­dent – This is one of the few times I will say, “Fake it until you make it.” If you keep telling your­self that you are con­fi­dent, then you’ll make it your real­ity. So just, fake it for now to pro­gram your mind for confidence.

5. Shine – Live to your poten­tial. We are all meant to be a light in this world, shin­ing empow­er­ment on our­selves and each other. You have a place in this world, be bold, own it.

6. Love — Find a way to love your­self no mat­ter what and guard that love so that noth­ing and no one will destroy it. It will allow you to be your hap­pi­est and best self. Only after you love your­self are you free to really love another.

7. Say “No” - Learn when to say “no” when you’re not com­fort­able say­ing yes.

Hey Rocker Girl, I’m back to talk to you about life again. I know you have a ten­dency for angst and rebel­lion but you will be hap­pier when you embrace a light­ness of being. It sounds ridicu­lous, impos­si­ble and stu­pid, I know…I know… I am you, I’ve been there, but lis­ten… really listen:

1. Avoid Jeal­ousy – Jeal­ously lim­its your abil­ity to appre­ci­ate oth­ers and it gets in the way of you being your fullest self. When jeal­ousy rises just know it’s a per­cep­tion that you can change. Learn to admire oth­ers while know­ing that there is enough in the world for you as well. Someone’s ‘hav­ing’ doesn’t mean you can’t have it too. You might already have it, but you can’t see it because you’re blinded by envy.

2. Pain is a vor­tex - Don’t stay too long or it will suck you in so deeply that you can’t find your way out. Feel the pain, process it, grieve then let it go and move for­ward. It’s a choice and if you move for­ward, you will have a hap­pier state of mind.

3. Watch you thoughts — Watch them care­fully, they can be poi­so­nous or med­i­c­i­nal. It’s your choice, so choose wisely. You can always choose a con­struc­tive thought rather than a destruc­tive one.

4. Habits – Yes, you really can change your habits. It works best in small steps. There is no habit that you can­not change. You are powerful.

5. Be Com­pas­sion­ate — The world soft­ens when you soften. It’s not really you against the world, but it will feel like that, as long as you per­ceive it that way. Soften… Love your­self… Breathe…

6. Embrace life – Do not approach life with fear, hurt or frustration.

7. Be flex­i­ble — When we cling too tightly to our dreams, we stop the flow. Be open to not know­ing what it will look like. If you remain flex­i­ble, then some form of it will hap­pen. Allow your dreams to breathe and they will form in the way they are meant to be.

Hey Dancer Girl, it’s me again your older self. I know you are relent­lessly pur­su­ing your dreams right now, so I won’t take up too much time. I’d just like to say a few things to make the next 10 years a bit eas­ier and nicer for you. I know you’re off to your next audi­tion, so real quick lis­ten up:

1. Great men really do exist – It’s not a myth, be patient.

2. You’re an acquired taste - It’s okay if peo­ple don’t like you and it’s okay if they decide to like you later.

3. Life is a bit of a lot­tery – Cul­ti­vate opti­mism and learn to be resource­ful so you can make the most of what you’ve got. This will also give you the vision to rec­og­nize a win when it happens.

4. Learn to let go — The sooner you do this the sooner you’ll be free.

5. Lis­ten to your emo­tions — They are very infor­ma­tive. The law of attrac­tion isn’t fool proof but it’s fun­da­men­tal prin­ci­pal is true. There’s a con­nec­tion between per­cep­tion and success.

6. Med­i­tate, pray and con­nect with the Divine — Do this daily! When you don’t spend time with the Divine, with God, with Spirit, you will feel fraz­zled and stressed.  Con­nect­ing keeps doubt and fear at bay.  Life can be wild and chaotic so have still­ness within.

7. There aren’t always happy end­ings — Hurt, death and other dread­ful things hap­pen. Some­times dreams don’t come true and moments feel like hell but we can choose to land on our feet, be resource­ful, make the best of it and enjoy this life expe­ri­ence. Don’t let life’s heart­breaks ruin a chance for a happy and ful­fill­ing life.

This post was inspired by the Life Les­son Series cre­ated by Abubakar Jamil. More infor­ma­tion can be found on www.abubakarjamil.com

What are a few of your life lessons that you would tell your younger self?